A new attraction based upon the “John Wick” film franchise has been announced for Area 15, an “immersive entertainment district” not far from the Las Vegas Strip.

This is the fourth Las Vegas attraction from entertainment powerhouse Lionsgate, the others being themed around “Saw,” “Blair Witch” and “The Hunger Games.” (“Hunger Games” isn’t long for this world, according to our sources.)

The John Wick series, of course, features hyper-violence and guns, lost of guns. A humor-based Las Vegas blog seems the perfect place for a nuanced discussion of America’s love affair with guns, the glorification of violence in pop culture and the inability of legislators to institute meaningful gun reform despite an epidemic of gun violence.

Just kidding! Keanu Reeves is awesome! Phew, you dodged that bullet.

John Wick in a casino is 430% cooler than the rendering everyone else is sharing.

As with all new experiences in Las Vegas, John Wick’s will be both immersive and interactive. It’s the law.

Here’s how the new attraction is described by the official news release: “The John Wick Experience is an approximately 12,000-square-foot ticketed attraction located on the Area 15 campus, a curated collection of best-in-class immersive experiences, interactive attractions, events and entertainment. The new experience blends immersive theatre and highly themed cinematic environments to create an interactive journey that transcends reality. Guests step through the doors of the Las Vegas Continental and into the fantastical underworld of John Wick, where they navigate a high stakes adventure as well as visit a themed bar and retail shop open to the general public.”

You know it’s going to be fancy when they spell “theatre” like that!

There should be a cannabis lounge. They could call it The High Table.

We’ve spoken often of Area 15 (they write it as “AREA15,” an affectation up with which we do not put), mostly because we predicted the quirky mall would tank. Since our prediction, Area 15 has generated enough revenue to purchase Norway. In cash.

Here’s more about the John Wick Experience: “Each group of guests will be tasked with specific missions, playing out in unique ways with characters, mythology and iconography from the Wick universe. They may rub elbows with Continental staff, assassins, crime bosses, or other curious guests like themselves within the relative safety of the Continental. Guests will be drawn into the culture, trusted with secrets, and invited to private areas of the Continental, promising an authentic and compelling action-packed experience.”

In this scene from “John Wick: Chapter 6 – The Face Palming,” Wick can’t believe his bonus garnered him a paltry $3.21.

The news release deftly sidesteps the extreme, graphic violence (“two to the chest, one to the head”) mentality of the movie franchise. And trust us, nobody in the media is pointing out the fact Las Vegas was the site of America’s most deadly mass shooting. Mostly because people would prefer to ignore the fact there’s a connection between sexy onscreen violence and real world violence. America is a world leader in thoughts and prayers.

On a lighter note, fun fact! The off-Strip Silver Sevens casino is going to be rebranded to The Continental. Fun facts are so much more enjoyable than actually taking action to curb gun violence, don’t you think?

Another fun fact: In the four John Wick films, the hero kills 439 people (or one every 74 seconds, on average).

Because we are complicated, we love the John Wick movies, especially the original. Anyone who gets that mad about harm to dogs is a hero.

Our favorite line in the series comes in “John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum.” Halle Berry’s character (Sofia) delivers some Wick-style ass-kicking, and tells John Wick, well, we have the Internet. Just watch.

The appeal of a John Wick Experience in Las Vegas remains to be seen, but it will be alongside another headline-making attraction from a movie studio at Area 15, a year-round horror-themed venue from Universal Parks & Resorts.

Expect to see collaborations between Lionsgate and Hard Rock Las Vegas after the rebrand from Mirage, as the companies have worked together in the past.

The John Wick Experience opens later this year, winter 2024. We trust, with a bang.

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