Many years ago when I was working, an attractive colleague came to work wearing another great-looking pin. I asked her about the pin and she said it was a Joan Rivers pin purchased through the online shopping channel, QVC.

I was stunned. I had seen the online channels, but figured the items were somewhat junky, but this colleague always looked great and SHE shopped at QVC!

So I took another look and very gradually, I ordered a thing or two from QVC. Not so junky after all–and I could return things I didn’t like.

Today, I don’t go to malls (except for a story); most of what I buy is delivered to me at home from one of three QVC channels or one HSN channel. (They are now all part of the same company.) I listen to drama on TV and when the commercials come on, I switch to one of the shopping channels. The shopping channels are always on, without commercials. But of course all of the shopping channels’ programming is a commercial for everything from garden implements to hamburger meat.

As a result, I have bought some great stuff–including food. AND I have bought stuff I didn’t need, used only once and ended up donating it to Goodwill of Southern Nevada.

I bought a bread-maker (made one loaf four years ago). Hello Goodwill. I purchased two machines that suck the air out of plastic bags to make what’s in the bag last longer. (Did that for about a week, put the machines in the lower cabinets, forgot all about them and–Hello, Goodwill.). I bought two of the same blouse not long ago. Liked them both and kept them both. Recently I bought a pizza machine (on sale) and I’ve tried it twice–-makes OK pizza, but I have to shop for fancy ingredients and my results are not as good as the commercial stuff. (Anybody want a pizza maker?)

Incidentally, I can afford to shop because I have no children or grandchildren (or great-grandchildren) who need my support, and my dogs don’t have bank accounts.

I am also an expert returner of items I decide I don’t like. I know the route to the post office. I have extra shopping bags to use if I have mistakenly tossed an original bag. I know how to retrieve new shipping labels, and I own large rolls of shipping tape to secure my return items. I keep a couple of boxes handy as well.

I do look at some shopping programs where I have no interest in the products. Among those is anything hosted by a guy named Guy Yonan on HSN. He is not young, but has a wonderful man’s body-–tall, broad shoulders and slim hips. He looks gorgeous in sweaters and tight-fitting shirts. Guy talks as if he is single, but sadly, he lives in the humid state of Florida. Even if Guy and his shoulders were avid fans of this “mature” lady, the humidity would outrank the shoulders and I’d have to decline. Bye, Guy.

Way back when I started watching QVC, a gal named Kathy Levine was the host for Joan Rivers. Kathy was very popular and I was sad when I read that she was leaving QVC to host her own program, but I never saw her hosting anything. Now, several decades later, Kathy is back on QVC occasionally selling jewelry. She looks and sounds the same as she did in the Joan Rivers days. I’ve changed, but she didn’t. Amazing.

I have complaints about the shopping channels, of course. They sell a lot of the same items over and over–-with different names and fabrics, but how many shirts and pants and over-the-head dresses can one girl have? When my husband was alive, he and I shared a walk-in closet. I now have the whole closet chock-full of pants and shirts from the shopping channels–cuz I can’t just watch and NOT shop.

I often think of losing weight-–for a lot of reasons. But if I did lose 30 or 40 pounds, all of those shirts and pants in my closet wouldn’t fit and I’d be… forced…to shop QVC and HSN again and again and again. I’d be hungry, but otherwise, I’d be in shopping heaven.